Ianthe's Inferno



Posts tagged with ‘my life’

i ant stop coughing im exhaustedi finally snappedat one  of my housemates yesterday im supposed to go downtown for a thingbut i just want to fuckijgn sleep i havea massive bruise on my leg i need better earplugs i have $6 til i get paid again how much klonopin should i takei i h atee everything 

I have my psychiatrist appointment today
I told justin thanks for not thinking I’m a big crazy or if he does think I am for not judging me too much
& he told me that he fell in love with me when I was this way so it can’t be all that bad

I just squealed in response

On the plus side I made an appointment with my old drug dealer with a desk in the burbs so I will get literally all my prescriptions back and everyone can go fuck themselves I’m sick of The Legit Psychiatrists who make me feel like shit and belittle me and threaten to not up my dose

Fuck everything I’m not doing that again I’ll just go back to the suburbs every month I give up

God I love my life. wobblydash is like the actual best thing in my life ever and we are completely nauseating and I have always dreamed of being in the kind of relationship that makes people want to delete me from actual life

Also there is a puppy sleeping next to me

I’m happy


PSA it’s possible that I might end up being out of my ADHD meds for, like, a month which affects not just my ability to focus but also

  • my ability to literally get out of bed and have the motivation to do things like feed myself
  • my short term memory (which is almost completely shot)
  • my ability to process information and respond to things people say to me
  • my mood/self-esteem/sense of self-worth
  • my emotional availability and capacity/desire to interact with other people

please be nice to me and patient with me because if it’s annoying for you to have to deal with me when i’m like this imagine how i fucking feel


i basically dont eat when justins not around because he always reminds me to eat and heats up food for me and my executive dysfunction is so bad that otherwise i would rather just be hungry in the same spot than actually try to create food  

he doesnt even mind taking care of me 

hes actually the sweetest

it helps so much to know that when i’m having bad brain days that it’s not going to ruin literally everything and wow i still get butterflies from having him around even though we have literally lived in the same place and spent nearly all waking and sleeping hours right next to each other for about the past month 

i am in awe of him constantly and  i hope this never changes

i don’t think it will anytime soon

justin is the first guy ive dated that my best friend has approved of

maddy literally has just hated everyone i’ve ever been with but she likes justin and that is monumental i have been waiting for this moment for 7 years

i have faith in this 

maybe i can stop being massively insecure and like, accept that maybe not everything has to fall apart all the time????


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